Jokes and then some

Q: How do you get one week’s worth of homework done in three upper level college courses in three and a half hours?
A: Open the books three hours and twenty-seven minutes before they’re due.

Q: What has an abnormally elevated heart rate, an uneasy stomach, an eight hour shift of duty in two hours, and no sleep in twenty-four hours?
A: Me, cracked out on Hydroxycut, bouncing off the walls, and suddenly unable to close my eyes with a head full of telecommunications, American history, and communications skills information.

Q: What’s more fun than sleeping after an all-nighter of homework and eight hours of duty?
A: Working at the embassy after you get off for the semi annual inspection on Tuesday, until the Canadian Embassy Pub night from 1800 until pass-out.

I had thought of a lot more as the sweat beaded up on my brow during crunch time, but severe brain stress has caused me to forget practically everything other than basic bodily functions, and they are barely hanging on by a thread.

    Random facts:

  • On average at any given time, there are over 35 emails in my inbox that remain unanswered.
  • One in particular is from December 2001.
  • My right leg, from my hip to my toes, goes completely numb if I sit longer than 10 minutes.
  • It is numb right now, and has been for the last four hours since I started my homework.
  • I have one unpaid bill. It is for about $20 and involves a follow up appointment for my eye surgery from February in South Africa.
  • I passed the CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) Quiz today with only one wrong.
  • Speaking of CSS, I cracked the relative positioning problem I’ve been having with my div placement, but left the file I was working on at the embassy.
  • I fear this semester may do serious damage to my liver/brain/sleep schedule/shakra.
  • Acting on Cinemax has not gotten any better since I first saw boobs on it in the late 80’s. I haven’t been missing much.
  • Hurry up and look at all the new pics, or at least make note that they’re there so I can ditch the thumbnails. They’re destroying my 10 second, 56k modem page load target time.

I’ve decided to go with the latest Canon A80 4 megapixel digital camera rather than the A70. I have my reasons. The world will be my photographic oyster, but only after 1 October when it’s released to the public for sale.

Still more great ideas for jk.com v5 coming down the pipeline. Progress is slow and sporadic, but still there. Look for a revamped About page with contact form (the spammers are having a field day with my email address) and separate site and personal info sections. I’ll also be including a Frequently Asked Questions page, so start asking them and I’ll compile a nice little reference.

If you know me and I haven’t written you very recently, I sincerely apologize. If you’d like to volunteer and bear the brunt of some of my homework, I promise to use that extra time to write you specifically.

Stay cool.

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The author.Born in the year of the Dragon, the author grudgingly accepts the fact he has too many interests and not enough time. A cyclist as long as he can remember, an avid yet inconsistent writer since age eleven, and a U.S. Marine since age twenty-one, the author also adds peak bagging, diving, snowboarding, and computers to his list of interests. Incidentally, he is aware of his inability to make a living from any but the Corps. The author accepts this as fact and remains optimistic. Feel free to drop him a line.

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